with empty words, our world's collide...

23 March 2008 @ 09:49 pm

http://www.hassleme.co.uk/

http://haha.nu/creative/creative-photos-by-chema-madoz

http://www.flyaboveall.com/dogs.htm

http://www.blingit.us/blog/2008/02/27/pictures-taken-just-at-the-right-time/

Current Location: That place.

Current Mood:

calm

Current Music: Jamie Cullum- Wind Cries Mary

Leave a comment

23 March 2008 @ 09:10 pm

Tonight.

    Tonight I'm hanging out alone, just the way I like it. The whole family came over for Easter brunch today, (which apparently we do every year...? I must have forgotten. Silly me.) Anyway, the day has left me in a kind of funk that I can't seem to shake and so I'm sitting here talking to myself, drinking chamomile tea and listening to oldies like The Drifters and Ben E. King. I think it must be a severe funk because I don't see how I could still be sad while listening to such uplifting music.

    Maybe it's because this music gives me this feeling of nostalgia that is kind of discomforting. It makes me homesick for the past. Nothing in particular, either. Just the past in general.

    It just occurred to me that I suffer from chronic funks, although, if you say it that way, it sounds like it would be fun, doesn't it?

    Pointless thinking has really come to define me these days.

Current Location: Your head.

Current Mood:

nostalgic

Current Music: The Drifters- Save the Last Dance

Leave a comment

16 March 2008 @ 11:54 am

Thoughts.

I haven't been posting a lot lately but recently I have been putting a lot of thought into what I want to do with my life and I feel the need to voice these thoughts somehow. Even if it turns out that my thoughts only reach one or two people. To me, that's a good enough start.

    I feel like if I could have the chance to spread my thoughts to the minds of others, I could make a slight difference for someone, somewhere. Even those thoughts that we would normally write off as being insignificant. Our minds are capable of being such powerful tools and with the ability to voice their most inner-workings, our words can be infectious. My point is, I have come to the conclusion that sometimes even our most random and seemingly incoherent thoughts can develop into something bigger if we give them the chance to, or if we have the help from others. So I decided to post them here where they have a greater chance of spreading.

     First off, I think that so many people are too creative for their own good. I know what it can be like to have all of these ideas that never seem to click or fit together and at the same time, to feel as though if you could somehow harness your energy and focus, you could achieve something great. But, I believe that if you could somehow learn to make any sort of sense out of them, it is a perfect achievement of balance. And actually, this entry is an attempt to do exactly that.

    I get so much inspiration being a passenger, and just riding around and looking out onto the snow-covered roads of Maine. I actually think that the snow plays a huge part in my cravings for color. And, the dormant and depressing nature of winter-time gives me a certain ambition to bring a feeling of magnetism to people. An energy that will lead them to their own creative abilities.

    I am aware that I am very young, however I still get this frequent feeling that my life is slipping by. There is just so much that I would love to have a chance to accomplish and it would seem to me that a mere lifetime will not suffice. And, the thought of not achieving every single one of my goals is pretty disconcerting.

    So, if it isn't clear already, my main goal in life is to make a difference. I want to leave a mark. And, though I would love to say that even making a slight difference would be fulfilling, our world is in need of something so much larger that I don't feel we are at a point where we should be satisfied with anything small. It is so easy to get caught up in our own worlds; we are all most likely guilty of it. But it's sickening to think that anyone can still not have a desire to help out those in need.

Below, I have listed my personal list of goals that I have set for myself.

1. I want to travel and help out where help is needed while also expanding my mind. I feel that seeing what really goes on in our world first hand is an important step in education ourselves.

2. I want to document all of my experiences whether it be by film or writing. I think that in doing this, I can pass on a lot of my new-found knowledge to others and hopefully encourage people to live their lives not only for themselves, but for others as well.

3. I want to be recognized as a genuine and sincere human-being. I want people to see me exactly how I am and not try to read deeper into me in search of ulterior motives.

4. I want to be in a position where I can one day start a foundation to help people with similar values be heard.

5. I want to always feel that I have the opportunity to be creative.

6. I want to learn how to connect with people on a deeper level.

7. I want to overcome my insecurities so that I am more apt to achieve my plans.

8. I want to die with a feeling that I have succeeded in creating change.

Current Location: Home.

Current Mood:

optimistic

Current Music: Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Leave a comment

14 March 2008 @ 01:13 pm

Clarity and Commitment.

    I was going through my old entries and in my first entry, I provided links to things that made me laugh and I realized that one of them apparently goes to John Mayer's website instead of the video I meant to post. Curious. Well anyway, I wanted to say that I read his biography that is posted on the page and it did anything but make me laugh. I actually found some of the things that he said to be very inspiring and after reading it, I am in a very pensive mood.

     When asked about his song, Waiting on the World to Change, he said that, "It's meant to shed a little light on inactivity and inaction, because I don't believe that inaction is disinterest, I think inaction is preservation – nobody wants to get involved in a debate in which the rules and the facts will change so that they'll lose. So we end up with this other option, which is, I guess we'll just have to wait for things to get better." I haven't heard anyone put it so well in a while and I just wanted to mention how awesome I thought it was. In my opinion, we can use more John Mayer's in this world.

    I also wanted to re-post my list of New Year's resolutions and show the ones that I have actually made a serious commitment to.

1. Attempt not to apply and/or act upon any preconceived notions of people. In progress.

2. Actually put effort into the screenplay that I have always wanted to write before I die. In (chaotic) progress.

3. Show the people around me how much I appreciate them, even when it's difficult. Kind of...

4. Think less about the things I want to change about myself, and more about the things I can do to promote a larger cause. Check.

5. Let go of all grudges and try not to develop any more. Um...not quite.

6. Relax and enjoy the life I have instead of always wishing it were different. I hear excitement is over-rated. No.

7. Sign up for an Intro to Psychology class. Fall/2008

8. Read more books. Plain and simple. I have read about 10 books since posting this list I think... (Born Standing Up, The World According to Garp, The Cider House Rules, Rosemary's Baby, The Book of General Ignorance, Two Weeks with my Brother, Frankenstein, Hound of the Baskervilles, 50 Essays: A Portable Anthology, The Norton Reader: Sixth Edition.) Yep, 10.

9. Try everything atleast once. Well, I can't claim that I have tried everything yet. Though, I have been trying more often than I used to.

10. Take a road trip. Anywhere. This summer I was thinking Texas.

So anyway, I wanted to leave evidence that I have been sincere in my efforts and also, to mention that I plan to continue with the list until I am confident that I can check everything off.

-Sam.

Current Mood:

pensive

Current Music: van morrison- days like this

Leave a comment

13 March 2008 @ 03:29 pm

rebirth.

I am somewhat of a compulsive writer and if I am out doing something I will write down my thoughts on napkins, my arms, other people's arms, ads in magazines with empty space. You name it, and I've probably covered it with my random thoughts and or ideas for interesting photographs, screenplays, short stories, poems, and drawings or paintings. So, I have made a decision to use this thing as a chance to keep track of all of my thoughts as well as to keep them all in one place.

That being said, I am going to transfer, word for word, all of the thoughts I have been able to gather and try to get organized. Unfortunately, I have lost quite a bit of my mind somewhere out there in the world...

(And I don't expect most of them to make sense to anyone else, in fact they probably sound ridiculous, but they all mean something to me and that's all that really matters, right?)

-Photo- Woman walking down city sidewalk/white feathered hat/ trail of ducklings follow.

-Prom dress bowling.

-Teal building/Multiple silhouettes/ still? animated?--desert.

-Vid or Photo? Farm scene/people laughing on couch outdoors in front of fence/ cattle in background/ sunny

-Life in elevated homes-toasting each other as ocean water soaks feet. Global Warming.

-Marriage atop a church/ only steeple is exposed above ocean water. Bride and Groom happy.

-Parking lot fishing.

- People don't talk enough. We sit amongst each other pretending not to see one another.

-Meet in a cemetery. His father has passed away and he is there attending a funeral. She is kneeling down and crying beside another grave to which she has no relation at all. He inquires and she explains that the thought of dying before she has accomplished everything she has planned makes her sad.

- I feel tears come to my eyes when I think about the actual possibility of a few, caring, people making a difference. That is so beautiful to me.

-Old man and little girl sitting on park bench/sticking tongues out at each other.

-Man and woman sitting on the hood of a parked car/ mid-day/ eating ice cream/ staring at closed drive-in movie screen.

-Movies always seem to try and water down reality. In order to make an impact these days, I think you need to really avoid beating around the bush. Reality is the only tool left if you want to really hit home.

Current Mood:

productive

Current Music: three marlenas- the wallflowers

Leave a comment

24 December 2007 @ 06:51 pm

Christmas Eve.

Tonight is Christmas Eve and I must admit that it's not quite as magical as it has been in the past. Now that I am older, I can't seem to focus on the season in the way that I used to and I am actually quite depressed watching everyone around me having a good time. My family seems to feel exactly the way they do every single year but I myself cannot seem to enjoy a single second of this.
Anyway, I hope that tomorrow I can cheer up a bit. I mean, I love the holidays. I really do. And, that being said, I don't want to waste this year as I don't think I can last until next year for another chance to be in the spirit of things.

I really hope I can just find something to make me even the least bit happy. I know I am very fortunate for everything that I have, but I still feel as though something small and slight is missing.

Merry Christmas Everyone.
I hope all is well.
-Sam.

Current Location: Wallowing in my own dismay.

Current Music: Rains in Asia- Jump Little Children

Leave a comment

16 December 2007 @ 07:19 pm

ooh baby i like it raw...

I recently read an article about how scientists in michigan are working on a way to convert algae oils into biodiesel. Supposedly for every one acre of algae that is grown, about 20,000 gallons of biodiesel can be produced. This is quite a lot in comparison to the mere 1,000 gallons that can be produced from an acre of corn crops. The only downfall right now is of course that the new biofuel will run us about $20 a gallon however, researches have said that they are confident that they can lower the costs to under $3.00 a gallon once they have the ability to lower production costs. All in all, I look forward to seeing how this all works out. Let's all pray for a good outcome...

Other than that, I have been thinking a lot about New Year's resolutions and how in the past years if I did by chance, make one, I certainly didn't follow through with it. I mean, I make a lot of resolutions all year round in an attempt to improve myself. However, all of my resolutions simply prove to be wishful thinking. I can't even tell you how many times I've tried to quit biting my nails...

This year though, I really want to try and better myself. That being said, here are a few possible resolutions that I have thought of thus far:

1. Attempt not to apply and/or act upon any pre-concieved notions of people.

2. Actually put effort into the screenplay that I have always wanted to write before I die.

3. Show the people around me how much I appreciate them, even when it's difficult.

4. Think less about the things I want to change about myself, and more about the things I can do to promote a larger cause.

5. Let go of all grudges and try not to develop any more.

6. Relax and enjoy the life I have instead of always wishing it were different. I hear excitement is over-rated.

7. Sign up for an Intro to Psychology class.

8. Read more books. Plain and simple.

9. Try everything atleast once.

10. Take a road trip. Anywhere.

That's about it for now.

- Sam.

Current Location: You know.

Current Mood:

discontent

Current Music: Shelter Me- The Waifs.

2 comments | Leave a comment

15 December 2007 @ 06:13 pm

A wee bit sarcastic I'll admit...

I went to the video store earlier and bought "Alfie" for only $1.99 which is sort of like finding gold in your backyard! Gold that is only worth a $1.99 that is...Anyway, I watched it and it made me pretty depressed (despite the fact that Jude Law is absolutely gorgeous.) I just couldn't get over how even though he learns his lesson in the end he still doesn't have a girl. Movies aren't supposed to work that way. Especially not Jude Law movies. He's supposed to end up with me in the end.

Anyway, my night was drastically low-key. So far anyway, I still have a couple other movies to watch; one with Mandy Moore and the other one is Adam Sandler's new one with Don Cheadle. Let's pray they're good. I need a little pick-me-up and the wine isn't doing a sufficient job.

In other news, I was just informed that my stepfather still owns the very same spoon that he was fed with as a infant! Yes, I know...it is probably pretty difficult to contain your excitement right now... I know it has been for my stepfather.

I wish that I could just have a tiny video camera in my forehead so that I could record and later watch all of the insignificant things that happen in my life. I know they would surely make me laugh later. It would be like watching a movie in which the main character suffers from being the only sane person in their family and while watching all of the other ridiculously oblivious people you sort of pity the protagonist. You know...except for that poor protagonist would be me, of course.

P .S.

After posting this I realized that the computer was kind enough to map out "Hell" for you.
Just incase you wanted to visit.

Current Location: Hell.

Current Mood:

discontent

Current Music: My stepfather's beloved X-mas music.

Leave a comment

15 December 2007 @ 12:25 pm

wet dreams.

So last night I was awoken (awoken? awakened?) by my little sister crying because she wet her bed. She was pretty afraid that I would get mad I guess but I honestly didn't care. She's four. It happens. My other sister who is now eight refers to wetting the bed as having "wet dreams" and I don't really think I am going to correct her on this solely for the sake of laughter.
Anyways, today has proved to be yet another boring day. Only about a week until Brian comes back from North Carolina to visit me. I am pretty happy that I get to spend Christmas with him. (Yes, I took the time to decorate the word. That's how lame I am.) Anyway, this will be our second one together.

Yes. So I am looking into going to a community college because I realized that I could save SO much money and get the same education. I figure once I get all of my core classes taken care of, I can always transfer to a University. It really seems to be the smart way to do it and once, just ONCE, I want to do something the intelligent way. I'll probably go to SMCC.

We shall see.

-Sam.

Current Location: the place to be.

Current Mood:

contemplative

Current Music: chimpanzee-BNL

Leave a comment

15 December 2007 @ 12:25 am

Well...

There's not much going on tonight. I'm trying to pass the time by watching funny videos on Youtube and apparently also creating this account? I basically spent my night drinking wine spritzers with my grandmother. Got to love the holidays. It's pretty cold out. It hasn't stopped snowing in Waterville yet. I let my dog outside and I nearly lost him...he's only about 8 inches tall.

Anyway, these are a few things that have made me laugh so far.
I have also enjoyed everything by Jon Lajoie. Especially "High as Fuck."

http://johnmayer.com/blog#1560

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFdBOKeWz5A

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/a506fde1d3

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1408298709

http://hs.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=220244&id=699013582

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKlC9m8c9IE

-Sam.

Current Location: My dining room.

Current Mood:

bored

Current Music: Dog Problems- The Format

Leave a comment

11 November 2007 @ 07:02 pm

My Song.

Leave a comment

Advertisement

Advertisement